19 - Stepping into a Previous Version of Self

“Leaving the church was like leaving a whole identity, like being reincarnated as a completely different creature. As sour as my feelings can sometimes be toward religion or any dogmatic school of thought that doesn’t adjust itself when confronted with contrary evidence, I still have many loving connections to people from my former life and it remains complicated in many ways. My leaving was a little late compared to many people I know who have left the faith, and more spiritually violent in a way, because I had become pretty entrenched both in the people I surrounded myself with and in my belief system. So when I left, it was like starting a new life. I think it’s really hard for people to leave because of the relationships they build, which can be toxic in many ways but can also be extremely supportive and loving. It’s hard enough to admit that you might be wrong, especially about something so huge. For me, it was maybe even harder to admit that all of these people in my life that I loved and respected also might be wrong. It was hard to admit that my grandmother had some messed up views, even if she also did a tremendous amount of good in her life. I had moved to a new city and had stopped going to church for about a year while I questioned things internally, not really talking to anyone about it. Questioning the big ideas, but also feeling very uncomfortable with much of the churches views on homosexuality and other social issues I’d started to think more about. Then a new acquaintance invited me to her church and I went. It was like stepping into an alternate dimension of my previous life, or how my life would be if I had never questioned all of these things. It was a bizarre experience to realize these were not my people anymore. And I never went back.” -Kevin

11x14 acrylic on watercolor paper in wood frame

**Each piece will be delivered once the show ends, it is looking like this will be the end of February but it may be extended**